The Not-So-Normal Gal

  “People will kill you. Over time. They will shave out every last morsel of fun in you with little, harmless sounding phrases that people uses every day, like: 'Be realistic!'" - Dylan Moran I am nobody,  two weeks before I was officially due, born in a disaster,  one of the biggest earthquakes my country will know. The epicenter isn't far.  My alloted hospital is a pile of rubble. My mom is greeted  by a candle held in the doctor's hand as she is lead into a low laying room with a broken window where she brings me into this world. I am a year and a half, we move away to a big city, I will have no memories of my birthplace.    I am three years old. The teacher comes in our our first day of Pre school to find me alone and upset. She hands me a book that makes sounds and that becomes the only recollection I have from that era of my life.  I am six now. I run around in the howling rain and strom with my weak umbrella with the sole purpose of turning it inside out.  I

As I write this, I am 19 years old. 4 months short of not being a teenager anymore. I started this blog when I was 13. (It was August of 2014 so you could say this is sort of a late 6th-anniversary post.) Time goes by quick, doesn't it? I was a child; that's not to say I'm not a child right now but you know what I mean. The last post on this blog is from 2018 but I really stopped using this back in 2017. It's been three whole years. Nothing seems different but yet everything has changed, hasn't it?  I don't know where to start. I truly do not.  I finished high school, I'm halfway through college. I imagine this moment would have been unfathomable to 2014 Shreya. I guess I should start with filling you in on the major events in my life so far. I am not friends with even half the people I knew when you last heard from me. In fact, I can only name a couple that have stayed with me since then.  I fell in love again, no surprise there. I fell in love harder than

Dear you-know-who-you-are-though- you'll-never-read-this I hope youre happy and you know now what it feels like to be in love. I cannot be bitter towards your change of heart about the fact that you didn't want to date people. I guess a couple of months is enough to change perspectives. We haven't talked for a while. This has been the longest break between us since we started talking. I'm pretty sure this break is going to continue till either of us gets super drunk and finds themselves in the wrong city.  I will not tell you that I miss you this time around. If you know me, you already know that I do. I think of you sometimes, it's not that often anymore but I do. In a couple of days it'll be I think 8 months since the day I told you I was in love with you and it all went to batshit. Still we managed to have our good moments. I will not tell you that I love you this time around either because a) the fact hasn't changed b) I can imagine it's a re

A couple of days ago I head the one and only (non existent entity as of now) Hannah Montana on the radio. (*HEYY GET UPPP GET LOUDDD START   PUMPING UP THE PARTY NOW*) This came out in 2006. 11 freaking years ago. And here it was playing on a request-a-song radio show in 2017. Gosh. I know. Cringe. But also nostalgia. The painfully simple lyrics and the semi to full auto tuned vocals brought me back to sitting in front of the TV when I was 5, belting out near perfect renditions of all her songs (I still can btw.)  I also made me realize just how much I miss things being "painfully simple".  ----- topic change ------ My life isn't a drama by any means even if I make it seem a bit (or a lot) dramatic on here. I'm a happy sunflower. I don't have any outstanding dreams or larger than life plans. I just really want to be happy and make others happy. I want to make cakes for bake sales and be there when people need to vent. I want to have kids that become good pe

Spoken word poetry is by far the most raw and efficient way to express in my opinion. Im in love with the format. Here are four of my poems. They're in chronical order. Maybe you can make out a story? (If you follow me on Instagram, you've already read these) ~ //my favourite baked good// He was beautiful He felt like a rose on my more than thorn body A firefly on a cold dark night, a beach at dawn He was electric The sparks like the bouncing of neurons in my,love blind brain. I was in shock. I didnt baby proof the sockets that couldve been fatal, something I regret not doing. He was a tv show that should've gone on air but was cancelled due to budget cuts, i had invested in that story from the moment it was on the drawing board. He was perpetually hypothetical. His arms around my waist, my lips against his, i was on fire. He was stone cold.  He twisted up my neck like poison ivy, my eyes locked in his. I could not breathe, but he sang. He was not a monster, b

a couple of days ago (8 Sept) he said that he loved me.  Plot twist: it was no. V (see previous post) Plot twist: I couldn't say it back  Plot twist: hes okay with it Plot twist: I have a feeling I can say it back soon enough.